Comments for Without Sanity

Comment on “How to Live with a Depressed Wife” : 101 by Paul Z

Paul Z — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:15:35 +0000

Dear Paul B.: I used to think the same way you do…that if my wife would just mature, think positively, “snap out of it,” drink coffee in the morning, look forward to something….she’d get out of these “spells.”
After 15 years of marriage with a depressed wife, after counselling, after hearing from depressed people, I can tell you, I’m sorry but an attitude adjustment is not the answer.
I’ve heard two explanations that resonated for me:
Being depressed is like being a drowning person who is told “Swim harder!”
Being depressed is like being awakened at 3 a.m. by someone throwing a bucket of cold water on you, and then being expected to act normally.
The only solution is to leave behind any ideas of marriage being a 50-50 proposition and turning it into a 100-0 proposition. For the sake of her, for the children, and the marriage. Counselling, medication, and prayer also work. God bless.

Comment on Survival: Waiting until the Closing Date on your New House! by Teena in Toronto

Teena in Toronto — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 23:08:49 +0000

Sounds like you have a lot of on the go!

Happy blogoversary!

Comment on Oh the places you’ll go… by Alyssa

Alyssa — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 14:51:13 +0000

How was little man’s first day???

Comment on Oh the places you’ll go… by head_nut

head_nut — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:32:53 +0000

Aw momma. She’ll be fine. The Boy starts on the 26th. I am not looking forward to it. Like it or not I am parking my car and walking him in. After that he’ll ride the bus. The first day should be special!

Comment on What happens? by head_nut

head_nut — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:21:44 +0000

Aw babe, I’m sorry to hear about his. If you need to talk or anything feel free to e-mail me. You will all adjust. It won’t be easy and it will take time but it will happen.

Comment on “How to Live with a Depressed Wife” : 101 by Jeff

Jeff — Fri, 29 May 2009 17:29:22 +0000

My wife won’t admit it, but she misses her ex lovers/friends with benefits.

I’ve gone so far as to tell her that I love her enough to just let her go.

Nothing is the same now, that I discovered she was discretely trying to make casual meetings with these chaps. Not one, but two of them. Has anything happened? Don’t think so. But the reality is, she still feels something, because she hasn’t seen these guys in 10-20 years.

A shame. We’re such a fun couple, but wtf can you do, right?

Life goes on. :-\

Comment on Sony Cyber-shot DSC-H20 by head_nut

head_nut — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:08:33 +0000

OMG!!! That camera sounds great!! I need a new one but am torn between a Sony and a Nikon. I’m willing to spend the $$ to get a good camera. Something better than my Kodak Easyshare.

Comment on Hallo Interwebz. by Scott

Scott — Sun, 03 May 2009 22:45:08 +0000

Forgive my abruptness–but your beauty far exceeds that of the camera!
You are indeed a voluptuous beauty!

Comment on Sony Cyber-shot DSC-H20 by Scott

Scott — Sun, 03 May 2009 22:32:46 +0000

It is indeed a beauty–I envy you!

I haven’t had a working camera (except for a disposable one, that I used-up as soon as it was given me) in about 20 years–I’ve always considered memory to be the best camera. But now that I’m 43, I realize my memory may become less accurate in the next half of my life.

So I want a new camera–a digital one. I wouldn’t have the patience or the know-how to develop my own pictures, as you do. But hopefully I could figure out how to transfer my photos to the Internet, specifically my blog.

I cannot afford one, since I’m not a paid employee yet. But when my parents, sisters, and brothers-in-law ask me what I want for Christmas, I’ll hopefully be able to reply with “a digital camera,” rather than “just money!”

Comment on Compliments from a Four, “almost five” Year Old by Alyson

Alyson — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 04:57:47 +0000

OMG. That’s so funny, and sweet.

Comment on On being ill and public schooling. by bronsonfive

bronsonfive — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 07:52:20 +0000

I teach in public schools and you’re right… it totally has to do with the school itself. Some schools have a great line up of educators and students. Others, if the educators and administrators are lame, the kids are awful. Like where I teach…

Comment on Oedipus and Electra Complexes: Are Moms Closer to Their Sons and Dad’s Closer to Their Daughters? by Kristina

Kristina — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 00:29:19 +0000

Interesting blog. I got here via your piece on Christianity which was interesting but this one caught my eye. I only have 2 girls and they are total opposites, one a mommy’s girl and the other a daddy’s girl but lately both shifting towards daddy. I’ve often wondered this myself — the pull towards my husband from my girls and I see it in my own family of siblings. Boys tended to connect more with mom and same with us girls to our dad. Pretty interesting…thanks for turning the gears!

Comment on “How to Live with a Depressed Wife” : 101 by irishinoz

irishinoz — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 11:53:34 +0000

Having been thru the mill of working my guts out as my wife submits her career to retrain & bear our kids. I work in the arts and spent most of time during this period on the road a lot. It involved a lot of travel both local (AUSTRALIAN) and International. I always felt like shite.

But anyhow after my last trip overseas I came home & picked up my son who puked all over me, an amount of vomit I have never seen. He was upset – I couldn’t give a shite – we climbed into the shower together wiping puke off each others clothes laughing as the lumps ran down the swally.

I’ve been suicidally depressed about having kids due to my folks never letting me know about abuse until I was 24.

I thought I would be like my grandad – who raped my mom.

My parents never caressed me our gave me hugs – shit I didn’t realise until I was 22, they were afraid.

Anyhow – It was myself dealing with the fact that I was never touched (nicely) & made sure that my kids can express & articulate: emotion, love, hate, dissapointment and sadness before the age of 4.

You always remember how you were treated as a kid

Comment on The Stigma of Being a Young Mom by Amy

Amy — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 18:55:36 +0000

I ran across this a little later than others but I want to extend my best wishes to you and your family. Keep your healthy perspective, you will go far. I’m 33 and I still hear from other people, “Oh, when you’re older…” It’s just a way for insecure people to exercise perceived dominance over your life. It’s tough to fight that school of thought every day of your life. But you seem to have your priorities in place. Much love, Amy

Comment on “How to Live with a Depressed Wife” : 101 by CHARLES

CHARLES — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 10:50:21 +0000

“AMEN” TO ALL OF THE ABOVE. It is obvious that all of the contributors want to remain with their spouses. and of course separation and divorce are always options..
But when a couple are married for many years this is not an option in most cases. All those years to sacrifice is too sad to comprehend much less take action to dissolve them.
But then again, we want to have a “happy ” relationship..and both be happy..so how can we do this when one person wants happiness and the other seems to want to make his or spouse miserable ALL THE TIME.
We are only on this earth for a relatively few years and we need happiness and purpose not continually living in some of the examples above.
So any more or new suggestions.????