• Stop Mothering Your Friends
  • Stop Mothering Your Friends
  • Stop Mothering Your Friends

Yeah so that seems to be pretty high on the priority list since I’ve upset a couple people recently.

I think all of this stems from my lack of a “Savior” as a child. I had a rough go at it since my mother didn’t have the greatest choice in men and she seemed to choose alcoholics who were volatile drunks. Fine and dandy, I got over it. But I think my need to fix things for people, to save them, proverbially, to stop them from doing things that are sure to ruin their lives, and judging their decisions..

I need to decide more carefully which friends deserve this tough love behavior based on their decisions and which ones don’t. I tend to spread it out across everyone – leaving no one person feeling neglected or left out from Alyssa’s mothering.

 I. Can’t. Help. It.

I think I just need to re-evaluate when and why I do it — so that the wrong people don’t get the brunt end of my frustration over being unable to mother everyone I care about. Sorry, it’s a piece of who I am and I can’t help it. I’ll try to be better about it, but it will always be a part of me. A piece of me that I will never truly be able to shake. I will continue to be a good, trustworthy friend, a shoulder to cry on, somebody who gives help when people come asking for it (and sometimes when they don’t), taking some friends secrets to the grave and telling others blatantly where they have gone wrong..

 Fine, shoot me.  This is who I am. It’s in my blood and engraved in my brain. I don’t have any desire to be “involved” in their drama per say…. it’s more to me about “Eliminating chaos”…it’s like I’m making up for never being able to eliminate the chaos as a young girl, so I do it now by trying to eliminate the chaos in other peoples lives. I’ll admit sometimes I go over board and what to me feels like drama and chaos is not actually drama and chaos and I’m overreacting.

 Call it a character flaw. I guess. For some my personality is just too much, and for those who have learned to put up with me, I’ll be forever grateful, and others I will always be forced to give tough love to, because it’s the only thing I can do when their chaos goes beyond my capability as a friend.

But none of this changes the fact that I love my friends dearly……….


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