Caution: Pregnancy Hormones on the Loose

So being on progesterone has made me, moody, irritable and tired…oh and nauseous.

I’m sick with a horrible head cold that just will not go away and I’m desperate for some Theraflu.. the things I’d give to be able to pop a shot of theraflu.…

Yes I know, it sounds like I’m on some sort of crack binge. With my first child, I was blissfully unawares to certain dangers with different over the counter medicines. So when I went to my first OB visit with my daughter – I was told nothing but Tylenol. I gasped in horror. No more advil liquigels?! No more theraflu or Nyquil!?  ::sigh:: I was defeated.

 Luckily I didn’t get sick at all through my first pregnancy…

This one however, has proven to be remotely more problematic…between sickness and moodiness and my boobs feeling like somebody spent a week pounding on them non-stop.. Which I can assure – Robert has not…and my lingering head cold.. I am desperate for something.. so I start reading about over the counter medicines and what is safe and what isn’t. When it dawns on me.. MUCINEX! I know mucinex, in it’s sweet little bottle… can save me… And right when I remember that I posess one sweet little time release pill in my medicine cabinet, the page loads…. “Mucinex is not safe during any stage of pregnancy because of it’s high concentration of gauifinesin and it’s ability to break down a mucous plug”…

UGH!!!!! I wanted to jump into the computer monitor…and kill the doctor who just HAD to write that….HAD to tell me that this sweet savior could not be off assistance to me.

So the nurse tells me to get a bulb syringe, the kind used with babies and squirt some saline up there.. listen lady, I’m so congested, it’s going to hit a wall and rush right back out…so like the confederacy – I gave up after a fight to the death to be able to take…something.

Onto a more serious conversation – I am feeling more and more like this first trimester is putting me into a state of psychosis. I am so scared of something happening to this little grain of rice, that I am obsessing over it. I am seriously sitting around considering having another HCG blood screening a few days before the ultrasound so in the event that something isn’t progressing as it should be, I won’t have to see the sweet little bean on a monitor… I don’t think I could handle it. I don’t think I’d just bounce back from a miscarriage when its taken me 23 months to conceive this one..

I’ve made a deal with God,  you know the ones we all do…. I am hoping “he” hears me. “He” apparently heard my desperate request for a baby and I wouldn’t consider myself religious in any form of the word, but being the agnostic that I am, I believe there is something out there – whatever it is, I just don’t know who or what it is, but apparently it was listening when I said I felt broken and empty and maybe these two years is what we needed to be ‘ready’ I guess…This is such the perfect time too.

 Hopefully I can survive the first trimester and I’m able to fend off the psychosis part.


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