I suck ass.


So I haven’t updated in a long time – so I felt it was necessary I started this with a serious title – the true kind. YEP! I suck ass, between two kids, a full time job, new digs, and the holidays – I had set my blog on the back burner – yup I suck ass – again, in case you missed it.

It’s icing in the Midwest and this morning was a true test of my patience – even more so than last Monday. People going Northbound do not need to slow down because there is an accident southbound on the other side of the road- stop looking, and drive, so we can all get the hell to work so we don’t get fired or laid off in this economy.  I have a new car – its a 2005 Malibu Maxx LS, ok so its not NEW!! but it’s new to me… either way, its our first major purchase since we’ve been married  – anywho, so I’m super conscious now of all of the cars around me..

My New Car!
My New Car!

because lets be honest – I don’t want anyone to scratch her sweet ass. So when cars seem to get a little too close, like they want to play pac man, I start to move over and then people are looking over at the other accidents and I feel like they’re closing in on me for Christ’s sakes. What is WRONG with Midwest drivers? I mean fucking seriously. I had BOTH of my kids in the car last week and some lady in a Saturn station wagon flew across THREE lanes of traffic on a death curve under an overpass and ran me and my kids onto the shoulder nearly missing my front end. What did I do you ask?! Well, once I regained my bearings and caught up with the old bat, I honked and cussed and flipped the bird and maybe even some accidental gang signs in all of raging anger that she could have injured my precious cargo. She didn’t even look at me, didn’t even look over – and she wasn’t so old that she was deaf or wearing black out sun glasses for her glaucoma, she looked to be mid fifties. I was unbelievably mad.

Somebody find me a bumper sticker – well, a magnet, I don’t want to ruin my clear coat ( LOL ) that says “I’M A ROAD RAGER!”…. I need to get one of those “Baby on Board” things to hang in the window to truly earn ‘mommy driver’ status… except I want mine to say “Back off bitches, there be chiltren’s in da car!!”
Hows that?
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2 thoughts on “I suck ass.

  1. ugh!! it’s icing here today 😦 I love the new car. People from the midwest think they can drive however they want cause they’re used to the weather…esp if they have 4 wheel drive!!

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