Oedipus and Electra Complexes: Are Moms Closer to Their Sons and Dad’s Closer to Their Daughters?


Now that I am the mother of one of each gender I have a newfound curiosity in trying to make sense of the differences between Moms and their boys and Moms and their girls…

I guess I’m so curious because I never really bonded with my daughter when she was a newborn. Please don’t say “it’s because you didn’t breastfeed”…you’re a moron… it’s because I was severely depressed and on very heavy and un-necessary mood stabilizers. It was hard for me to feel emotions, hard for me to feel or be loved… it put me on such a low, unemotional level. I loved her and would have taken a bullet for her as my child in a heartbeat, but there wasn’t that lovey dovey thing I feel like I have with my son. Granted, my son and I experienced a life altering, life changing experience together and I bonded with him in that extreme sense without any extra effort on my part.

Read – This.

 I know it’s a long read, but it is very interesting and explains a lot in an almost Freudian way, about how sons and mothers are more apt to bonding more closely than mothers and daughters.

Of course, not everyone is typical of a studied psychological complex.

“As understood today,[3] the Freudian Oedipus complex has two poles. The “positive pole” implies hatred and a death wish for the parent of the same sex (father for boys and mother for girls), and love and attachment towards the parent of the opposite sex. The “negative pole” implies the hatred and death wish directed at the parent of the opposite sex, and love for the parent of the same sex. “

Which makes so much sense.

I remember reading in high school  in my psychology course about how daughters see their mothers as competition to the “Alpha male” of the house and feel like they have to fight the other females for the males attention, regardless of the relationship they have with the male. 

So what do you think, interwebz!?

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One thought on “Oedipus and Electra Complexes: Are Moms Closer to Their Sons and Dad’s Closer to Their Daughters?

  1. Interesting blog. I got here via your piece on Christianity which was interesting but this one caught my eye. I only have 2 girls and they are total opposites, one a mommy’s girl and the other a daddy’s girl but lately both shifting towards daddy. I’ve often wondered this myself — the pull towards my husband from my girls and I see it in my own family of siblings. Boys tended to connect more with mom and same with us girls to our dad. Pretty interesting…thanks for turning the gears!

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