After my post yesterday I thought that it would be an excellent idea to get the kids, go home and be productive – however – I did none of those things. I heated up leftovers for my daughter, gave the baby a bottle, heated myself up a Marie Callendar’s Steamer meal and flopped down onto the couch and watched TV and fiddled with the laptop for a bit.
Did. Nothing. Else.
Sure, I chit chatted on the phone with a girl friend of mine…but I had all of these plans to do a massive cooking expedition and finish up all of the laundry and just be done with it. Nope, didn’t do any of that. The clothes still sit in baskets. Unfolded. Yep – I’m a rebel. The dirty laundry continues to gather and the dishes have begun to pile in the sink.
I am not sleeping well – but I don’t think it’s because he’s gone. I think it’s because I’m feeling empty inside… not so much lonely… but empty and longing – and that is a horrendous feeling when you see no end in sight to it. You’ll lay awake in bed for hours and wonder what tomorrow will bring and/or if you’ll even make it there. People keep saying this one day at a time crap. I don’t have a choice but to take things one day at a time. Nobody ever gave me the option to skip ahead a year. If somebody else gets that option, please put in a good word for me so I can be so privileged.
One day at a time..