Every day is a winding road…

We are living in separate places right now… which is for the best..

We are at a great impasse that is going to define whether or not our marriage can survive or dissolve.

Our six year wedding anniversary was yesterday and we actually had an amazing weekend. I wish I could be married to that man… all the time. I could be happy. I could.

But I am so cynical because of the patterns I’ve seen roll over and over again.

I am trying hard to believe it, but I’ve hid my affection from him….and from myself because my heart is trying to protect me from being hurt.

I am trying to find them. I don’t know where they are, but I’m wondering when they will come back… my biggest hang up is wondering when that incompatible husband of mine will return and this fun happy affectionate person will go away.

This separation is good for us… to find out if our marriage can be saved.

We have to.

I’m heading out of town with the kids to visit an old friend from Friday through Sunday and another good friend of mine is coming to stay at my house for the week while she is in town.

I wonder where we will be in three or four months. The house is lonely, it’s quiet. The kids are a handful but we are making it.

Time to clean the house in frantic fashion before K gets here!


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