“Everyone is scared their first time.”

…especially when you know it’s the only thing standing between you and what you dream about doing for the rest of your life.

Very rarely will you find me without a camera in my hands. It feels natural to me to carry a camera, to take pictures, to remember things with images instead of memories inside my head.

It’s 1:37am and I’m taking a leap of faith and photographing a family that is somebody that is not a friend or a friend of a friend or family…it’s my first “outsider” and my greatest fear in beginning a beginner is disappointing them. Not that I’m not confident that I can do it, but more so that I want them to love what I’m giving them as much as I love doing it.

I sit at my desk during the day and process medical research protocols and accounts receivable -however, I have found myself daydreaming about how much fun it would be to come into the office and take pictures of everyone for an office scrapbook. It’s a sickness, I know. Right? The other day one of my co-workers, who was about to leave on vacation, brought in his dSLR and was showing it to another co-worker talking about using it to take pictures of the travels he and his wife were about to have hiking across Colorado. I wanted to run in there and grab it from him, mess with its settings, snap pictures – talk shop. It took the stack of protocols in my arms weighing me down to remind me that I had other things to do.

It’s all of these little instances where I start to realize that this is what my calling is.

My husband, seeing me sick with worry tonight about this shoot tomorrow, asked me (via a googletalk message to my phone – my god we’re disconnected…or are we?) “Are you sure you want to get into this line or work? Really?” and I answered with absolute certainty. “Yes.” Without missing a beat.

My last word… “Everyone is scared their first time.”


2 thoughts on ““Everyone is scared their first time.”

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