This is me saying ‘No’. I will not support this dangerous and risky behavior any longer.
As a parent it is your job to love them till death. It is not your job to literally love them to death.
No, you were not welcomed here. You were not welcomed because…
- you called my children terrible names
- you called me a ‘bitch, who only cares about money in front of my child’
- you were telling my daughter incorrect things about her father when we were not around.
- you believe everything you hear on the radio and that is why you won’t get her help.
- you have told lies and made up stories about my dearest husband who has been smart enough to not let it affect him.
- you have chosen to live your life with addiction
- you have called me an alcoholic and spread subsequent lies to the family saying just that.
- you have chosen to nurture her addiction by cleaning her house, doing her dishes and allowing her to eat food from your home.
- you have enabled her to live this way by allowing her to pick off the family for money.
- you have believed her lies.
- you chose an addict over people who legitimately love you.
- you believe getting an addict help is not “for you” because “You ain’t no A&E Intervention bullshit”… Newsflash – you all need one. Those people are getting help – you’re not.
- You have poisoned my brain for years with lies about my own mother, your child, your sibling. True or not – leave the kids out of it. It’s nearly ruined us.
- you have broken me down with your words, your lies and your gossip: when I didn’t deserve it.
- You have stolen money from me and the people I care about when we were trying to help your children – not you. (I knew you weren’t going to pay me back, I knew you were a manipulator and I knew I was a means to an end for you and you’re right, what you told the family about us “Not missing the money because we had enough of it.” – You’re only about half right, I don’t “Have enough of it” – but it didn’t BREAK me like you’ve done to everyone else’s finances. 😉
….this list could on all night. My life, the way I live it and how well I’m doing speaks for itself. What can you say about you? Are you proud of the things you have done? Are you ashamed about any lies you have told? Who am I kidding – – They have all come to believe the lies they tell to be fact. They live in a fantasy world where pathological lying is a normal point of communication and it is only natural to make up how someone else’s sentence end or what they said in a conversation two weeks ago or what their husband is really like or how their relationship is… It is fine, for you, but I will not live in that world. I will not live where misery is so omnipresent that people perceive this as normal.
We are not a family, nor have we been for a very long time – so why would I welcome you into my home? You are not the enemy but you most certainly are not my friends. I am Mama Bear and I will protect my children until the bloody end – even the more silent threat; words. Words coming from the mouth of the unstable and unable to tell the truth.
Family does not do this to family and I will not allow you to do such things to my children, my mother or me. You are the ones with a problem. Not us. I want my children to see the good the bad and the ugly in the world but I also want them to see a family protecting their family and banding together when faced with the ugly — not inviting it in to sit down at the dinner table. That is the wrong message. The very wrong message that lead you all to where you are now.
I know my mother prefers I don’t discuss these things publicly – but this is me – this is how I cope with things. This is how I deal with things. I get it out. I seek support through my words. I seek the strongest connections that I can link with people who truly are there to help if even to lend an ear… because there is strength in numbers. I am not an island floating out here alone. The support of my decisions and the hope of a forced change, yes forced, is gaining numbers exponentially by the day and if one person can incite change and make people start talking about issues that are normally kept in secret to save face (when there isn’t one to save) then I will keep talking about it… and soon the light will outnumber the dark and the sadness and feelings of depression will be overcome by love and support. I’m still looking for that…. but I think I’m getting there.
So why again, you ask, were you excommunicated? Because if my relationship and the relationship with my darling (ok sometimes they are buttheads) children is what it is going to take to make you realize it is time to start taking this seriously — then I will do it. You will remain estranged. Indefinitely. Seek help before it is too late… This is me, telling you ‘No’ and I will not waver.
My husband and my children are my number one priority and we are happy. We are deliriously happy over our successes, our great kids and goals that get closer and closer to being met every day. When you’ve gotten help and you’re ready – I’m here – but maybe that is a pipe dream?