If you talk too much, regardless of the content of what you’re saying… If you’re loud and kinda ‘in your face’… If you don’t take shit from anybody…
Chances are when something goes wrong or there is an argument or a disagreement… all eyes are on you.
Being outgoing, social, firm in your beliefs and passionate – are a deadly combination if you ever don’t want to be on the receiving end of blame when there is absolutely anything that goes wrong.
I cannot tell you the number of times that just because I was the loudest one about a topic it automatically assigned blame to me…
I also cannot tell you how many times when myself and somebody else, (husband, friend or otherwise) have collectively gotten ourselves in trouble. The blame is instantaneously assigned to me. ‘Alyssa must have tempted you into it…. she must have strung you along… don’t worry – you can do no wrong – it was Alyssa’s fault… It’s her fault we can’t do X, Y, and Z.’ Too many enablers in my life STILL! “Oh, you can’t hack it… awww, I’m sorry, we’ll make an excuse for you…” Yeah. They know who they are – no one party in particular, several of which I still speak to.
True story, folks. I am wrong sometimes too and deserve to get the blame, but it seems like the majority of the time when I *do* get the blame I shouldn’t.
You’re right, I’m not over it. There are a lot of things I am forgiving of… I forgive people too easily sometimes — because I want to believe that all people are mostly good. I do have trust issues, but forgiveness and trust to me do not necessarily go hand in hand… but lying to assign blame/fault where it doesn’t 100% belong is not one that I give out easily. Especially not if you’re trying to smear my name. Like I said – I can make myself look bad without your help – I’m human.
I am a real human being – I am not going to pretend like I won’t make bad decisions in moments of weakness or sadness or depression – I am a human – humans are fallible and we are not designed to be all knowing… nobody is.
However, if somebody is truly sorry – I’ll forgive them… Truly. I’ve yet to come across more than a handful of people who have ever said they were sorry and meant it.
Choose your words wisely folks – the person on the receiving end can never un-hear it or un-see it… It’s out there. Choose wisely… they may not forgive you and you might have to live with it.