Happy (Or… what others think is best for you.)

I have found out very quickly in this crazy situation that people only support you if they agree with the path you chose.

Does it not matter if somebody is not happy?… and is wanting to seek out that happiness?

It makes no sense to me how people can be so deeply judgmental because they don’t agree with your choices. (Keep in mind, these choices aren’t dangerous or hurting anyone intentionally). They want you to learn hard and painful lessons for no reason, even though you are no longer a child and do not need to be forced into hard and painful corners that one must learn and grow to get out of. People are only happy for you and supportive, and uplifting, when you are walking the path they believe is righteous and a lot of people spend a lot of time going “But what about the children?”… What about them? They will be deeply loved, as usual and they will adjust… They will be fine. I spend a lot of time spinning in a circle wanting to scream “BUT WHAT ABOUT ME!?”

I have found us in a place in my life where we have both changed and it hasn’t been for the better for each other. We have allowed a vast divide of emptiness to grow between us for many moons now and this choice was not one I came to easily. Spinning my wheels in a place of very deep longing for companionship, versus just partnership, has caused the depression, stress and anxiety to get to a place where life no longer makes sense and the clock is ticking. I am young, but you only get one life.

You find out very fast in a separation who your friends are and which family will be there for you and which ones won’t.

The loneliness isn’t a fear of mine… the judgment is.


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