So… I talk to the dog.
A lot. More than I should likely mention out loud… or in this blog. I am really not used to living alone and when the kids or the new beau aren’t here – it gets weird for me. It’s like I’m not used to coming home and not opening my mouth to speak at all for the whole night… Weird? I think so.
In my recognizing this issue – I began talking out loud to my Dane mix, Penny.
It goes a little something like this…
(I come in, toss my keys onto the counter, throw the purse up there too, then head to let Penny out of her crate.) I have the “Puppy/Baby/Cute thing” voice in full effect…Then upon returning from running out to potty… I proceed to have a full fledged discussion… One sided obviously. I mean sometimes she cocks her head and looks at me in obvious agreement, but other than that…
“Penny, I really do not know what to cook anymore these days… I am not used to cooking for 1 when the kids are not here. What can I cook that isn’t too much?… Do I have tupperware that will fit all the extra nonsense?”
“So, I think I am going to cook something healthy and then put it into containers for lunches. It is going to be great. I think I am going to get up early and go to the gym again tomorrow, this week I have sucked at getting to the gym – I’ve had appointments and meetings early in the morning that I can’t go to sweaty or with wet hair… I know I know! A REAL PREDICAMENT!…I’ll make up for it, anyway!”
Penny: ………… (Likely thinking, where are my kids and my boyfriend…. you’re boring and kind of weird, Lady.)
I think they diagnose people for this. I mean – I think they medicate people for this kind of thing…