…and think about what I want to write about.
I want to write about all of these lovely things that are happening in my life, but then I reel myself back. I feel like my divorce has prevented me from being allowed to be excited and happy about new things happening in my life. I know people read my blog and would see me as the one who ended my marriage and vilify me for being happy now after “causing so much pain” by initiating the split. I don’t really get it.
I feel like I should be able to write about whatever I want and how excited I am to have a new relationship, and new opportunities, and renewed faith that I can be happy and with a compatible match and that my life is moving in the right direction – but I feel like it is in this ridiculously delicate balancing act right now – where if I say something that makes me look too happy and too gushy about the new beau… that people will judge me or they will assist in starting a breakdown process with my good relationship with the ex.
So I don’t say much…