Dear Alyssa,

First of all, you are worth it. Stop internalizing the way other people are affected by stressors. They don’t have anything to do with you. 

You’re a well-educated, well-rounded, smart woman. You are a Mother who does the best she can and if the kids don’t respond the way you would like – try something different. 

Spend more time on your hobbies, they help keep you grounded. Keep writing – that helps keep you grounded, too. Spend more time reading, too – – – those library books about love and healthy relationships and parenting are due back on the 9th of January. Read them all – renew them if you have to after this semester is over next week.

Don’t be so hard on yourself when your body doesn’t cooperate while you are trying to figure issues with your back, your thyroid, your sleep disorder, etc out. It will work itself out. 

Quit feeling judged because your marriage didn’t work out – you gave it your best shot – if you were not happy and were not going to be happy – who was benefitting from that arrangement? Nobody. Quit! You’re not damaged goods. You’re a good woman and anyone is lucky to have you. Don’t be so sad because people he associates with, or his family, don’t talk to you anymore – you didn’t do anything wrong. You spent a lot of time convincing yourself that your happiness was secondary, and tertiary, to everyone else — finally recognizing your happiness was important in a romantic relationship is not something to be ashamed of – or anything that you did wrong. They are the ones with problems – not you. 

And lastly, be happy. You deserve that and nothing less. Don’t allow yourself to be “second” to everything or everyone else. You deserve to be first every once in a while. 

Keep doing what you’re doing with your family connections – building relationships where you actually allow people to get close to you are in fact good for you. 

Yours truly. 


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