You tested my patience, my strength, how many tears I could cry, my wallet, my self image, my spirit, my families and my friendships.
I am not particularly “happy” to see you go though. Surprised? Most people would say peace-the-hell-out to a year like that. Not me. I desperately needed to be challenged, I’ve got a big mouth, but I needed to be broken out of my “shell”. I needed 2012 to happen to me so badly.
I needed to recognize my own desire for happiness was important and it changed my whole trajectory.
I needed to be in a healthy, happy, relationship where two people have enough in common to want to be together, to laugh about things together – without any codependent need to be together (totally not a dig on my ex, we are just so different… too different to make it work). Enter The Hunk. If 2012 wouldn’t have happened, I wouldn’t have met you – even during the saddest loneliest period in my life. You were sent to help minimize the gap in my loneliness so I could pull myself together and not be so void of human connections – because lets face it – lots of relatives of mine, and his, really showed their ugliness in our divorce. I needed you and luckily when we met my mess-of-a-life didn’t scare you off.
I needed 2012 to remind me that I have got to spend more time playing with my children and give them the side of me that when things got bad in my marriage – I didn’t/couldn’t give them me… now is the time to get back into that habit… give them more of me since I have more emotional-“me” to give. They deserve it.
2012 showed me that this girl, even as a single parent, or even the half of 2012 when I was married, I can kick ass! Dean’s List Honor Roll student, full time mom, full time student. That is HUGE! I should be proud of myself like many others in my life are.
I needed you, 2012. One of the most challenging years of my life. So long, Friend. Sad to see you go.
Last night we got dressed up, connected, had breakthroughs, partied the night away, spent time with friends, danced like fools, lip-synced to 80’s music, played with silly NYE props, kissed at midnight, took a million pictures at arms length and rang in the New Year as happy, though tired, people!
Wouldn’t change a thing about you 2012. ❤