Forgiveness is not Forgetfulness


fal·li·ble

  [fal-uh-buhl]

adjective

1.(of persons) liable to err, especially in being deceived ormistaken.
2.liable to be erroneous or false; not accurate: fallible information.
 
Humans are fallible. 
 
We will just start there. As humans we are not always the best at knowing what is best for us or the people who might be hurt by what we do. We must either accept that people are going to make mistakes, allow them the opportunity to show you that they mean what they say and that they, in no uncertain terms, screwed up — or we must push away everyone who causes our hearts unrest. We can close ourselves off to the mistakes of others and refuse to allow them to hurt us more than once – and we would likely spend our lives alone. Then there are the ‘others’ who believe that since humans are not infallible and perfect that understand that we sometimes lack proper judgment. 
 
The trouble comes when we allow these mistakes to happen more than once… then it becomes an issue of one’s self esteem and in not recognizing that they are a good and deserving person (*unless you suck, but ya know, roll with me here) and that you deserve to be treated properly, loved properly, and respected totally, too. 
 
Love can heal many wounds when coupled with time — but we must always choose one path – while most situations are placed in the grey – whether it be choosing to forgive and move forward thus giving a person the most precious and generous gift or choosing to live in resentment and anger.
 
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If you choose to forgive, allow one to prove their worth and earn the forgiveness – but taking this path means you must choose not to burned more than twice. By forgiving the first lack of good judgment with your most precious of emotions – we accept that there is a chance that we will be burned a second time and that the heartbreak might be significantly worse than the first time. But then there is also the chance that our generosity was all another person needed to recognize your true worth and everything could be changed. We must not forget what we forgave for – but we must reassign it as something else in our brains so that is no longer an indicator of pain – but a benchmark of a time of a potentially positive change.
 
These are likely among the hardest decisions we will ever make in our lives to protect ourselves from pain. 
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