The Sum of Our Parts

We cannot be adequately described by one part of our self. We can only be described in a manner that is a summation of all of those parts.

My pain and my inability to cope with heartbreak is only a piece of me. As is my sadness, my anger, my feelings of mistrust, betrayal, and maybe a small part of disappointment in myself for banking on a desperate belief that the man that I loved could possibly change.


Judge me on the summation of my parts. Do not judge me on the failed relationships alone, the heartbreak, or perhaps my emotional deficiency when dealing with such — but judge me as the sum of all my parts. Judge me in lieu of those things on my ability to love, hard, make people laugh, laugh at myself, my intelligence, my desire to help people, being a good mother, being a good friend, being a trustworthy, loyal, person —- don’t judge me on the breast implants, or the ghost of boyfriends past (plural), or the fake tan, or the wine that keeps me company at night. If you must judge me, judge me on the sum of all of my parts. All of those things – the good and the bad – but let us not exclude the good. Even after being broken and busted – if a person can still put out their “Good” when the “Bad” just keeps telling them to say “Fuck it, other humans aren’t worth it, because humans are selfish garbage.” then they still have some fight left in them.

I am grateful for where I am…and if you’re reading this, you should be, too. As many negative relationships that bring zero value to your life that you can whittle out. Do it. I promise it will be worth it and your self worth will be more than you ever imagined it to be. Divorce yourself from love relationships that bring you nothing but pain and anxiety, remove friendships that are superficial and only see you as a face with a number on it in a crowd of people… Seek out those who value you – and do not allow those who don’t to exist in your world. Only keep time with those who see you as a total package and not just one piece of who you are. That one piece isn’t you. That one piece could belong to any millions of people on the planet, perhaps billions, but the collection of all of it – makes you – you. Don’t let anyone, not a lover, not an acquaintance, not a “friend”, and certainly not anyone who is threatened by your fierce ambition and tenacious desire for the best… bring you down.


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