Forty Days

It isn’t even a small surprise to any of my readers that comprise the 700+ people subscribed to this blog that I am a dreamer. I am a REAL realist... and don’t believe in placating or making promises to anyone that everything is going to be sunshine and rainbows all of the time, because its not. Sometimes, not everything is going to be OK. Sometimes, things are going to go terribly wrong and you will get your heart broken, lose that big promotion, have a fight with someone you care about, end a friendship – intentionally or otherwise, or you hurt yourself… I am very very real. When my kids ask me about death, I am very direct with them – Yes, we all die. Everyone will die. Chances are you’ll make it into a very late life – fulfilled. Chances are, I, as your Mommy, won’t outlive you. But chances are just that. Shit happens. 

But, I remain a dreamer in the sense that – what in the hell is the point of living life if you don’t throw yourself into some things and dream a little? In my past, dreaming got me through some pretty serious heartbreak. Dreaming got me through the last bit of a marriage that I knew was over – that we knew was over – and gave me the strength to end it knowing that I would be hurting someone that I cared about very very much. There is a place for dreaming. Always.

Tomorrow, Drew and I will celebrate our one year anniversary. Engaged. Getting married in October… and now… owning our first house together……..


Home, Sweet, Home.

There is something about really knowing that this is the place where you’re going to raise a family with the person you love. I’ll explain, of course…

When Drew and I started to reopen our search for a house in January, we did not believe that we would find a house that we loved. We didn’t think it would be a quick thing, so we called our lender, got all of our finances in order, got all of our approvals – so now all we needed to do was look. The lender told me “Don’t worry too much about all of this paperwork tonight – you probably won’t find your house tonight, might take a while.” We knew that we were going to pay more for a house to stay in the city we live in, but we desperately wanted to keep the kids close to family and in their current schools. We were completely aware that this was going to be a tough market for us and this would like take some time to find the right fit. Where we live houses do not stay on the market long as it is a very sought after area because of the school district and small-town feel in more of a trendy urban area. We made peace with this and scheduled our first three showings, all the same night, saying a tiny prayer for some patience.

  • The first house was outside of our current district but in the city adjacent to ours, that has a similar feel and an equally great school district. We went in and while it was a nice house, the configuration was just difficult. Not big enough for King bed…but had the fireplace we loved, had no real front door or any grand entrance and the tiniest kitchen – ever. We moved on.
  • The second house was a “refresher”, we had been in it before for an open house, but now it had been nicely staged and we were wanting to put it to rest. It was the biggest of the three houses, it was back in our town. I had somewhat romanticized this house in the Summer when we had looked at it because it was HUGE and it has the most amazing kitchen I’ve ever seen. But Drew was still not sold. Upon returning we saw that there was definitely a lot of “lipstick” and the configuration was, also, just not going to work for us. We put it to rest and moved on to the third house.
  • At first, upon entering, we were skeptical as the listing had a very discouraging number of square feet on it, we did not want another small house. Two adults, two kids, and three dogs living in a 1000 square foot Saltbox-style Bungalow was NOT working as it was, we certainly didn’t want to end up back in the same situation twice. However, upon moving through the gorgeous French doors and into the open concept kitchen, we were in an addition on the house. That’s why the square footage was wrong… it didn’t include this hefty addition on the back half of the house. It had everything we wanted/needed. Space. Openness. The number of bedrooms we needed. A garage, which in this town is nearly unheard of. A fenced in backyard. Everything. I was sold… but I kept my cool because I didn’t want to transfer how I was feeling onto Drew. He and our agent wandered into the other room and just outside of my line of sight, but I could hear them talking. “Can you get some more info on this property?… I just see this place as a home where we could be really happy, for a really long time…”. Hearing Drew say that… I was sold. He has never liked any of the 40+ houses we had seen since the Summer. This was the first I had seen, or heard, any interest or emotion in him. There is a certain emotion that comes over you when you are standing in the place where you hope to bring home a baby together, the place where you will be a family, the first place you will come home to after you are married. The place where your children will celebrate birthdays and have parties. Where family will gather and where you will grow old with the person you love. It hit me like a sack of bricks. This was our house and we needed to make it ours, and quickly. I could handle the heartbreak of past failed relationships, but I could not handle the heartbreak of losing that little image of us bringing a baby home, the little image of us coming home after our wedding as Mr. and Mrs. Now, that would be real heartbreak. The next day we put in an offer – and after a tense bidding war with another potential buyer – we got the house. Let the Pinterest – pinning begin!

We close in FORTY DAYS. 4. 0. 40.


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