And I remember telling my mom, “I want a marriage like yours. Where you fall in love, you laugh all the time, you are each other’s best friends and you just know.” They found each other later in life.
I watched my mother experience some deeply painful heartbreaks… Those that women do not easily “get over”, or “move on” from. I remember watching her put everything on the line in hopes for love, and she labeled men that were not in any way worthy of her love as “great”, “fantastic”. Vom.
But, alas, I learned from those failures, and I learned what I was willing to put up with…And what I was NOT willing to put up with. My man would either be “all in” for the family unit, or else, I wasn’t having it. Except, I figured out that I didn’t need to demand that attribute. He found ME. *He* was all in… without me asking.
I love that my parents, my mom and my stepfather, seem as in love as they were when they met. I wanted that marriage. And after ending my first marriage, I knew that was the “mission”… And after getting OUT of a relationship with someone who inflicted significant pain, (not my marriage). I was moving forward to do better. Do better.
I found someone that sees all parts of what it means to be with a divorced woman, accept these kids for all they are (awesome), and truly gets in line with “I want a love like that.” I don’t need a non committal person who needs all of his own space and rarely includes me… Drew knows some days will suck. But he takes it in stride, and glossed over when I’ve struggled with being healthy and civil. Because I deserve him, and he deserves me.
Drew’s parents, in addition, say some of the cutest things that make me reminisce upon what I have always wanted. Because of some of the things they have said in passing makes me want to, also, engrave our wedding day (10-4-15) on the inside of his ring…
Drew is my best friend, and that’s the foundation that I love that we are building on. I see an amazing relationship what we will tell our kids about. He’s “all in” and I never EVER have to wonder where he sees us in the future, whether he is committed, and I never EVER wonder if he is completely into this, and us, even when life is rough.
I don’t have to write blogs anymore, and release them into the cyber universe, about what I really want out of a relationship, in hopes that my significant other will read it and come in line with what I’m wanting to come to fruition… I have someone who doesn’t need to read a silly blog to know what I need. He knows, without reading. I don’t need to beg for that connection anymore… I have it, given freely.
Real love doesn’t JUST hope for a “marriage like your parents”, especially after divorce… They throw themselves out into the world and tell themselves they are worthy of it and don’t accept anything less than a person who is 100%. ALL. IN.
I know better.
I recognize that I’m “lucky”. But, I also recognize that most of this was based on my own actions and my own choices. I deserve this. And after Drew’s life before me, he deserves me, too. Someone, like me, who is all in, and who completely understands what marriage really means and the loyalty and dedication that comes with that. I don’t have to wonder if I will ever have a marriage like my parents. I will have it, because I have Drew.